Does Reading Nuclear Green Cause Swine Flu?

Unlikely, but put on your mask anyway before you read. I don't want to catch anything from you.

Update: The United States Center for Disease Control today announced a new flu that combines swine flu with bird flu. The new illness is called the flying swine flu. Fortunately it does not cause any symptoms of illness, but it does cause pigs to fly. Medical authorities express astonishment and offer no explanation.

Flying pigs pose a greater menace to air safety than bird strikes do.